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by Zed

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about

I wrote and recorded Carabineer.

Then I recorded a bunch of songs I've written in the last 2 years. I rewrote some of them for this album.

What you're hearing just might be the best thing I've ever done alone.

SO DAMN SIC is about me and learning how to be alone without being lonely. I wrote it in the UMM Briggs Library during a coffee break in the summer of 2014, right after listening to some g.s. o’rin. It was somewhat inspired by his music.
THE NIGHT WE SHAVED OUR HEADS is about KT Lindemann and Isaac Smolund and all of my friends and the good times we have had together. I wrote it in my bed a few days after I shaved my hair into a mohawk with Andrew Sletten and Mitch Hancock.
DEAR FRIEND, HELP ME OUT is about a good conversation I had with KT Lindemann in my living room about growth and travel. I wrote it in the UMM Briggs Library Archives while I was supposed to be working but Andrew Jackson Jihad’s “Sad Songs” made me write this instead. The songs are almost identical and I don’t care.
LEMMEOUT is about how much KT Lindemann inspired me to create art during the Spring of 2014, and how I will always love her for that. I wrote it after saying goodbye to her before she left Morris for Minneapolis and I was embracing the sadness of the situation. “I’m trying to remember, oh I’m trying to remember” is a reference to Kelly Fischer’s song “Bitter”.
LIFE FINDS A WAY is about my growing views on kindness and morality. I wrote it in the Winter of 2013 and had a lot of fun with it. It didn’t have a home until this album.
CARABINEER is about Sydney Long and how at any given time I will admire in any given way. I wrote it in my bed at 2 in the morning when I loved her a little bit too much. I reference many songs from her band “Dr. Wild-Things’ Edible Circus”, as well as the song “Holding Onto You” by Twenty One Pilots. This is the song that is responsible for me recording this whole album. It is now living with 8 Bit Johnson, and couldn’t be happier.
TILIA TREE is about KT Lindemann and a number of Facebook conversations we had about art and sadness. I wrote it in my bed in the winter/spring of 2014. Many of the lines were said by one of us to the other at some point. As such, these lyrics were unofficially co-written by her.
MOTHERFUCKING BATMAN is about how fucking hard it is when I can’t write a goddamn song. I wrote it in the Summer of 2013 when I was having a hard time being happy and art wasn’t getting my anywhere. It was a good explosion of energy for me.
YOU’RE THE PETE BEST is about William White, my muse, my love, my best friend, my bandmate, my partner in crime. I wrote it when I had no idea how else to tell him how much I love him. I didn’t understand that he already knew. I reference a song by Yikes!Baribeau, I don’t care enough to recall which one.

Sadness can make us stupid and blind. Remember to love each other until it kills you. Don’t let anything fucking stop you.

credits

released October 6, 2014

Album Art by KT Lindemann

All sounds made by Jonas Newhouse
Except lady vocals and violin by Kelly Fischer
Jeff Goldblum and other guy's voices by Jeff Goldblum and other guy

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Zed Los Angeles, California

This is just, like, my opinion, you know?

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Track Name: So Damn Sic
Sometimes I think it's sick how much I can't stand to be alone
Sometimes I think that I should try to learn how to be alone
But I'd quickly get so damn sick of ordering people to leave me alone
And anyway, loneliness just doesn't suit me
I know it, I wrote it three years ago

If I can't learn from my mistakes, I can't learn at all
Track Name: The Night We Shaved Our Heads
I need to know that you’re okay
Without some confirmation I will never make it through the night
I think about you a whole lot because thinking about you makes me happy
Everybody’s got someone who thinks about them cause it makes them happy
If I told you I’d be lost without you, would you get it?
If something wants to makes you happy then you better fucking let it
You can’t talk me out a sinkhole, but I’ll let you pull me up a little bit
That’s all that anyone can do

There are so many things to be loved there’s no way that anyone can love all of them
But if you want to try, the things in front of you are a pretty good place to start
I hope you’ve learned your lesson, know that you are less than perfect
But with perfection comes a big depressing lack of growth
I know that’s not what you want because that’s not what anybody wants
Work your way closer and closer to what you think the perfect human should be
But be content in knowing you create some awesome things
You write your songs the way that humans talk and that’s something worth some admiration

Come on over to my place tonight
You and all our closest friends
Will shave our heads in the bathroom
We’ll dance to Eifel 65
We’ll laugh like we did when we were children
We’ll laugh like we will when we are famous
People will pay us for our creations
We’ll scream from our bedrooms and tell our roommates
Stick a moustache on the TV
Watch some stupid comedy movie
Nothing’s better than a stupid movie
I maintain that really, truly
Track Name: Dear Friend, Help Me Out
I can tell you how I'm feeling once I figure myself out
But unless I am creative, I don't know what I'm about
Well, Sean Bonnette had a mentor, maybe I should get one too
Maybe progress comes from learning something new

It's so hard to find a balance between modesty and talent
But I need it 'cause I hate being a dick
I like to think I have good taste, I try to never let a brain cell go to waste
Except for when I drink cheap whiskey with my friends

So help me out, 'cause I could use some help right now
I don't know how to get the evil in me out
I could do it on my own if I really wanted to
But I'd much rather tough it out with you

If I go to the beginning, maybe I could write a song
I'm sick of spinning bullshit lyrics about how every chord is wrong
If I piece myself together, I'm afraid I'll lose my creative spark
But who the fuck said happy can't make art?

I know that oh so many people are afraid of getting hurt
But hurting oh so many people scares the shit out of me
Maybe I'm too self-judgemental, but I know I've got potential
To destroy you and the things that you believe
Track Name: Life Finds a Way
It doesn’t matter whose rules you bend
In the end, life finds a way to end

You can take out a man’s heart
Just don’t leave him bleeding out
You know that’s a pretty fucked up thing to do
And if you take him to the hospital don’t just drop him off in front of the door
Just because it’s automatic doesn’t mean he doesn’t need your help

You can suck out a woman’s soul
But have the balls to go and find her a new one
It doesn’t have to be a better one, but it’s the least that you could do
And maybe you should stay a while and make sure she’s okay
Having your soul sucked out of your body is pretty fucking traumatizing

You can pretty much do what you want
But try not to be an asshole
And if you have to be an asshole, at least make sure you clean yourself
Nobody likes a dirty asshole
You don’t wanna be a dirty asshole
Cause nobody likes a dirty
Why are you being a dirty asshole
Nobody likes a dirty asshole
You don’t wanna be a dirty asshole
Cause nobody likes a dirty
Why are you being a dirty asshole

(These lyrics did not make the final cut)
Being a nice person
Is sometimes really difficult
But just because it’s difficult
That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible
Track Name: Lemmeout (ft. Kelly Fischer)
This is the same song I wrote three years ago
And I love that song, I think you liked it too
I'm trying to remember, oh I'm trying to remember, but I just fuckin can't
Recounting anything is not a thing that I would claim to be strong at
But I could try a little harder don't you think?
To make up something that you could believe
But that would be dishonesty and that's fucked up

Lemmeout, lemmeout, oh let me go
I can't tell you where I'm going cause I'm still too young to know
If I'm living in the future I am living in an unknown dream
So lemmeout, lemmeout, please let me go

You're leaving, but that's alright with me
Not cause I'm not gonna miss you but because I know we're where we need to be
Minnesota is just so fucking big
There may be miles in between the cities but that doesn't mean a thing
Cause we could probably do our best to see
How powerful our best can be
We're human and we're good enough, We're human and we're good enough, That's what I believe

Lemmeout, lemmeout, oh let me go
I can't tell you where I'm going cause I'm still too dumb to know
If I'm living in the future I am living in an unknown dream
So lemmeout, lemmeout, please let me go
Track Name: Carabineer
I need a breather, keep myself together with a little carabineer
Have you seen her? ‘Cause I’ve been searching my life for someone to hide away from
As soon as this song is done I’m gone, ‘cause everybody needs to sleep every now and then
Rest on a pillow, blanket on top, try to keep it quiet but the brain won’t stop
‘Cause the brain has the main gameplan and I hate to burst your bubble, sorry, pop
I’m always on the run and I’m running out the clock, and I do appreciate that we were gifted with thought
So I try to be the guy who asks why and I know we’ll never find it but I still gotta try
I need a breather, do you know what you’re doing? Me neither
Let’s sit and talk about it if you’re not too busy tonight
Yeah, I think that I might, do you think that’s alright?
Oh please check yes for me, that’d be hella tight

Let me fall asleep on you for the first time since the first time
It’s always sounder with you round me and I don’t think I’d have it any other way
No sir, no way

It’s been a long day, but then every day feels long these days
Oh won’t you stay with me oh can’t you see that I can’t sleep
I don’t need you to rescue me just sit and sing to me, ‘cause I can’t sleep I can’t sleep
I’m sorry if I got a little crude with you I’d probably do it different if I knew just what to do with you
I’ll take my time if time is what takes, but I am tapping out the seconds while my patience breaks
I know that I am never gonna see myself as better but I swear to god that every day I try to knit a sweater
A sweater? A sweater. A sweater made of tears. A sweater made of fabric. A sweater made of fears.
The sweater represents everything that I love, so I curl up inside, because it fits like a glove
Alright, okay, okay, alright, I think I may, I think I might, but I don’t know if I am right so I will let the night decide for me
Shooting stars adore me, I’d love to see another if you’ve got the time to just breath

Just breath, just breath with me, oh please x6
Try me out, Breath with me now
Track Name: Tilia Tree
If you ever catch me thinking that art might not be worth anything
Then strip away my instrument and lay me down to rest
Someday you’ll get better stuff if you think you need better stuff
But right now all the stuff you’ve got is good to keep around

I tell you to never stop as if you could ever stop
Put on your winter shoes because it’s fucking cold outside

Oh oh, you know that you know
People who have come and who will go
To war with their own minds
And people who will create lines
Of thought and emotion and utter devotion
To what makes us human, an honest illusion
There’s people who care and there’s people who write
And you’ve got your feet planted firmly in both camps

If I ever catch you thinking that you might not be worth anything
I don’t think I’ll have to tell you that you’re wrong, because I think you’ll know you knew it all along
But I’ll be damned if I will let you waste that opportunity
To create something beautiful, if nothing else, do it for me

I see potential in your mind for lyrics down the road
You need to know that that’s because your mind is fucking beautiful

Oh oh, the people I know
Have always been the kind of people
Who put their worries in a song or a lockbox
Or I’ve got a rockbox and it stays with me
Whenever I need it and often I need it
I now you need something but something is open
To being any something a thing could be
I promise you’ll find it, and if not, who needs it?

"the venn diagram of people I know who write songs and people I know who have struggled with mental health is basically a circle”
-Kt Lindemann, 2014
Track Name: Motherfucking Batman
I can’t write songs with my clothes on
And I can’t get off without a guitar on my body
And a banjo round my ankles I am dripping with sweat
If I knew which nerve was tender I could maybe remember
How to hurt inside
I am losing my mind trying to find a new reason to write
Anything in the world that could mean anything to anyone

No one told me to do this
In fact everybody probably should have told me not to
The worst kind of man is an artist
But the best kind of human will paint or write songs
And he will share his heart
With the world or whoever wants to listen
And he will fall apart
And he will glue himself together because that’s his tradition

There’s nothing so hard as a man who makes art as not having your heart rest in pieces
Maybe I’ll win in the challenge before me or maybe I’ll only place third
But I will learn the rules
And goddammit I’ll learn how to break them
Because punk rock is cool
And the biggest part of life is to find the skills and fake them

Let me go
Wherever I don’t want to go
Let me sing
Whatever I don’t want to sing about
I am my own motherfucking batman
I’m the Dark Knight who haunts my dreams
Am I the hero I deserve?
Yeah probably
Track Name: You're the Pete Best
Art is fucking fascinating, when you sit and think about it
Art is fucking condensating beads of sweat across your eyeballs
Do your best to wipe them off if you want to, I would never stop you
Just make sure to clean yourself because nobody likes a dirty asshole

Self-referentialism is not a common term
But terms and commonality are not important to your work

You are fucking fascinating, talented, and demonstrating
The power that will can bring, a human’s right to sing
Maybe writing isn’t right, maybe we’re wrong and that’s alright
I just love being with you in that part of the morning where we aren’t sure if it’s still last night

It’s looking to be really hot out, and I don’t like the heat
But at least we’ll have our intellects, our instruments on the corner of the street

You said “I’m moving out, but I’m not moving on”
Except I stole that line from someone else’s stupid song
Your stupid songs are honest and that’s worth the fucking risk
Honesty is all that you can do and if there’s only one thing you can do you better fucking do it

I know it sounds like I’m behind you all the way
But I’m not, I’m right here with you which is pretty fucking great
I can see your beauty better than the color of your vest
That was cheesy, and this will be cheesy, but you’re the fucking best